brought tears to my eyes

Boy: Hey, hun!
Girl: Hey.
Boy: I missed you at school today. Why weren't you there?
Girl: Yeah, I had to go to the doctor.
Boy: Oh really? Why?
Girl: Oh, nothing. Just some annual shots, that's all.
Boy: Oh.
Girl: So what did you guys do in Math today?
Boy: You didn't miss anything that great, just a lot of notes.
Girl: Okay, good.
Boy: Yeah.
Girl: Hey, I have a question to ask.
Boy: Okay, ask away.
Girl: How much do you love me?
Boy: You know I love you more than anything in this world.
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: Why did you ask?
Girl: *silence*
Boy: Is something wrong?
Girl: No. Nothing at all. Um. How much do you care about me?
Boy: I would give you the world in a heartbeat if I could.
Girl: You would?
Boy: Yeah of course I would. *sounding worried* Is there something wrong?
Girl: No, everything's fine.
Boy: Are you sure?
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: Okay. I hope so.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: I would take a bullet for you any day, hun.
Girl: Really?
Boy: Any day. Now, seriously, is there something wrong?
Girl: No, I'm fine. You're fine. We're fine. Everyone and everything is fine.
Boy: Okay.
Girl: Well, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow at school.
Boy: Alright, bye. I love you!
Girl: Yeah. I love you too. Bye.
 

THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL
 

Boy: Hey, have you seen my girlfriend today?
Friend: No.
Boy: Oh.
Friend: She wasn't here yesterday, either.
Boy: I know. She was acting all weird on the phone last night.
Friend: Well, dude, you know how girls are sometimes.
Boy: Yeah, but not her.
Friend: I don't know what else to say, man.
Boy: Okay, well I gotta get to English. I'll see ya after school.
Friend: Yeah I gotta get to Science. Later.
THAT NIGHT
Girl: Hello?
Boy: Hey.
Girl: Oh, hey.
Boy: Why weren't you at school today?
Girl: Uh, I had another appointment with the doctor.
Boy: Are you sick?
Girl: Um, I have to go. My mom’s calling on the other line.
Boy: I’ll wait.
Girl: It may take a while. I’ll call you later.
Boy: Alright. I love you.
-very long pause-
Girl: *with a tears in her eyes* Look, I think we should break up.
Boy: What?!
Girl: It’s the best thing for us right now.
Boy: Why?
Girl: I love you.
 

THE GIRL DOESN’T COME TO SCHOOL FOR 3 MORE WEEKS AND DOESNT ANSWER HER PHONE
 

Boy: Hey dude.
Friend: Hey.
Boy: What’s up?
Friend: Nothing. Hey, have you talked to your ex lately?
Boy: No.
Friend: So you didn’t hear?
Boy: Hear what?
Friend: Um, I don’t know if I should be the one to tell you…
Boy: Dude, just tell me!
Friend: Uh. Call this number, 433-555-3468.
Boy: Okay, thanks!
 

BOY CALLS THE NUMBER AFTER SCHOOL
 

Voice: Hello, Suppam County Hospital. This is Nurse Victoria.
Boy: Uh, I must have the wrong number. I’m looking for my friend.
Voice: What is their name, sir?
*boy gives info*
Voice: Yes, this is the right number. She’s one of our patients here.
Boy: Really? Why? What happened? How is she?
Voice: Her room number is 646 in building A, suite 3.
Boy: WHAT HAPPENED?!
Voice: Please come by, sir, and you can see her. Goodbye.
Boy: WAIT! NO!
 

THE BOY GOES TO HOSPITAL, AND TO ROOM 646, BUILDING A, SUITE 3. THE GIRL IS LYING IN THE HOSPITAL BED.
 

Boy: Oh my God, are you okay?
Girl: *silence*
Boy: Dear, talk to me!
Girl: I..
Boy: You what?
Girl: I have cancer and I’m on life support.
Boy: *breaks into tears*
Girl: They're taking me off tonight.
Boy: Why?
Girl: I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t .
Boy: Why didn’t you tell me?
Girl: I didn’t want to hurt you.
Boy: You could never hurt me.
Girl: I just wanted to see if you felt about me the same as I felt about you.
Boy: Huh?
Girl: I love you more than anything. I would give you the world in a heartbeat. I would die for you and take a bullet for you.
Boy: *crying*
Girl: Don’t be sad. I love you and I’ll always be there with you.
Boy: Then why did you break up with me?
Nurse: Young man, visiting hours are over.
The boy leaves and later that night the girl is taken off of life support and dies, but what the boy didn’t know is that the girl only asked him those questions so she could hear him say it one last time. She only broke up with him because she knew she only had 3 more weeks left to live and thought that it would cause him less pain and give him time to get over her before she died.
 

NEXT DAY   

The boy is found dead with a gun in one hand and a note in the other.
THE NOTE SAID:
 

“I told her that I would take a bullet for her, just like she said she would die for me.”

this is on my story, which is i just copy from google, but i just wanna share;)
 

i'm tired. i need a rest:&

I want to cry
I want to scream
I want to tell you mostly
I hate that I'm so afraid of everything
I hate that you’re the one thing I want the most but can't have
I hate that you let me go before I got even got to say goodbye
I wish that you would come back to me
I wish I were strong enough to say no to you
I wish I could believe my own lies I use to cover up the pain you left
"I need to move on" says my head
"I need to hold on" says my heart
I envy her
I envy the fact you don’t understand what this feels like at all
I want to hurt you
I want to be with you
I want this nightmare to be over
I wish I could make things they were before you
I wish I could change time
I wish I could change you
I wish I could have hurt you before you hurt me
I need you out of my thoughts
I need you out of my heart
I'm sorry I was good enoughI'm sorry I defended you when everyone else was right
I'm sorry I couldn’t make you happy
Funny though how you never once said sorry for hurting me,
for breaking me,
for not loving me

I don't know. but sorry, i......i.....still love you</3

I.......

You were the sun shining brightly through the day
If ever something was wrong, you'd make it better right away
But now you're gone, the rain is falling
There is nobody answering to my call
Every day I see you with a smile on your face
And it hurts deep down to know that I will be replaced
You were the best thing that happened to me, and the best thing
taken away
And every night as I lie crying, I wish you'd stayed
Because now I'm alone, and still in love
You're the only thing my heart is dreaming of

lyk seriously, you've been a part of me.

"wie die Hälfte meines Herzens geht auch mit Ihnen"

big thanks to; google translate for helping me making this;)


xoxo,
zahwa samodra putri \m/

lying to forget

"This lie's become a part of me
For months, I've played this game
Acting like it doesn't hurt
Each time I hear his name

Ignoring what's inside of me
Pretending I've moved on
As if the feelings I once had
For him are somehow gone

Spending each and every day
With happiness and laughs
Forgetting all our memories
Avoiding photographs

But last night when I saw him
For the first time since he left
My heart stopped for a moment...
I couldn't catch my breath

When suddenly it hit me
As the tears started to flow
That even after all this time...
I just can't let him go"


I just learned about life, i just learned about letting go, &letting you go, is the hardest part :'(
honestly, i need you to stay. i need you to be here with me no matter what. because i feel so lonely. i need you, as always. &now you go. hard to believe, but this is real. i wasn't dreaming. he left me.


i want you back, i want you. i want you so badly</3


Xoxo,
Zahwa Samodra Putri \m/

you left me, i fail

"Words come
Eyes blink
Hands quiver
Pen moves
But then……….
Silence breaks
Thoughts shatter
Pen stops
Words disappear
Because………..
Out of nowhere
Your memory comes back
And once again
I leave the paper blank
Just because of your thoughts
Words never come
Eyes never blink
Hands never quiver
Pen never moves
And once again….
I fail…..
To fill the blank pages
of my life....."

i don't know, i just tired. tired of drama. i'm sick. sick of being "sick&tired"
if only i could go back to that day when.....forget it! i will never. hhh-_- i need a rest.
P.S; i still love you, please come back :')

Xoxo,
Zahwa Samodra Putri \m/

i need you

"The day when you entered my life,

has become my life’s best day…..

Many days come and pass away,
but this day has its own charm anyway…

You have changed my life completely,
and my love is growing with each new day…

Oh my love! I m incomplete without you,
don’t leave me alone for a single day…

Hold me in your arms tightly,
and make my every day a very special day…"

P.S; i made this officially just for you, ....rr....yy....

please believe me, that i will fall for you, i will do anything for you, just be my boy, &we'll be happy.
i promise.
mark my word, I promise.

XOXO,
Zahwa Samodra Putri

my eyes for you

I only have eyes for you
Hunderd’s of people pass my way
I see them, but I don’t …………………
Do you understand what I mean
I know they are there
The’re just not seen
No matter where I go
Or what I do
At a fast or slow
Only one person has my heart
I only have eyes for you
When we are together,
Just us two
Fireworks emploding in the sky
I wouldn’t see them
And, you know why
I only have eyes for you
You have heard this many times
I know
Look into a person’s eyes
but You are the only one
That can look into my eyes
And see the path ways to my heart
That path way belongs to only you
Whether we are together or apart
There was moment in time
When it all came together
I know this love was true
There will never be anyone else
Because
I only have eyes for you…..

when friendship turns to love

I didn't want to depart my home town, which I've been settling ever since the day I was born. Neither do I want to leave my school, relatives, and most importantly my best friend Samuel.
Sam and I had been best friends since elementary school. I still recall the day when we first met; it was the first day of grade 1 and we were in the same class.
Unintentionally I collided with his head trying to reach for my pencil that had been knocked out on the floor. Fortunately I didn’t know that he was trying to reach for it too. From that time on we got close, share lunch, talk and became best friends. We’d hang around together as often as I’d hang around with my family. He’s like my brother; a brother who I could lean to when I have problems, a brother who’s always there for me when I’m in trouble, a brother who loved me for me… at least as a sister. What he didn’t know is that I am deeply in love with him ever since the day we first met; which saddens me the most, assuming that he only thinks of me as his sister.

In sixth grade, in spite of this, things changed. We had been together for 5 implausible years, but this year is diverse. I was moving. Moving far away from him, it’s like a new world I’m getting myself into. My deep profoundness love for him is still there and I don’t want to leave him. We agreed to call each other at least twice a week, send letters and emails if we have time, and stay in touch with each other. Except that, it wouldn’t be the same, it wouldn’t be like old times, we wouldn’t see each other except in pictures, we couldn’t do anything together now. We couldn’t be there for each other, all the time anymore. Furthermore we are two continents away from each other. And I wanted to confess. Tomorrow, I decided.
The day of the departure came but he was nowhere in sight. I tried calling his cell but no one was answering it. I was so worried and sad that he forgot about my departure. I left the country heartbroken and thinking that maybe he had a good excuse why he didn’t go.

One year had passed and still no sign of him. I tried calling his home every once in a while but his mother would always say, “Oh he’s not here, but I’ll tell him you called!” and I would be so depressed. Sometimes I just think that he’s been avoiding my calls. But why I wondered
I was going off to grade 9. I hadn’t been getting any emails or letters from him; or hadn’t been getting any at all. I tried to tell myself that, “Its okay Katherine, he’s just busy that’s all.” However I had my doubts. What if he’s not busy at all? What if he forgot about me? What if he got a girlfriend and been too busy to talk or even stay in touch with me? A lot of what ifs’ are on my head. I tried emailing him and writing letters but there was no reply. What if all my what ifs’ came true? Then maybe I should be pleased, pleased for the reason that he’s happy. On the contrary why didn’t he tell me?
2 years had passed and still no sign of his letters or emails or phone calls. I tried to get over him. I really tried but I can’t. I just couldn’t forget the fact that I love him.
One week later, I received a letter from his home address, accusing it was him I ripped it open. I was so anxious to read his letter that I skipped a couple of parts, that I thought wasn’t that important. Unfortunately, it is important. It says that he’s sick and is in a coma. I was so shocked to see this that I ran inside to tell my parents to get me a ticket back to see him. Luckily they approved and booked me the latest flight.
I preceded to the hospital his in. I was so worried to see him, concerned that he’s undergoing from a poor health. When I got in his room my heart raised and kept thumping on my chest. I noticed him lying there with bandages all over his body. I felt sorry for him. All this time I was blaming him of overlooking me while his being diagnosed. I had a talk with his mom and she told me what had happened to him. She assumed that he was crossing the street while he was writing in a book and a truck had hit him. That book was sadly addressed to me, it has no title its cover is blank. I opened it and started reading the first page.
September 17, 200*

“This is the day I left.” I thought.
Katherine left today. I’m so upset to see her leave. That’s why I didn’t go to the airport at all. But I tried to go realizing that I had to confess my love for her before she leaves but I was too late. I’m going to miss her so bad. All the good times we had will never be forgotten. I wish I could come with her. I love her so very much.
My tears started falling. I admired him. I was in awe. He made a diary for me starting with the day I left. And what mostly saddened me is the fact that he loved me too. I scanned through pages and read the last page he had written on.

March 26, 200*

I can’t wait for Kath to see what I had done for her. I hope she’ll like it. I just miss her so bad. I wish she was here right now in my arms holding me tight and wishing she wouldn’t be away anymo ---
And it was cut right there. I couldn’t imagine the scene how it happened. I saw a glimpse of him again and a tear fell on my cheeks. I hold his hand so tight. That time I had wished that I hadn’t left and be with him throughout this tough time. There was this throb in my chest. I scanned again and all the other pages are blank. A letter dropped when I was about to close it.

Dear Kath,

If you are done reading my diary I want you to fill out the other half of this book. I miss you so bad, Kath. I’m sorry if I keep missing your calls I was just too busy with work. Yeah, Kath I’m working now so I could surprise you and go there and maybe finish my school there. I can’t wait to see you soon. I’m also sorry that it took me 2 years to get this to you its just that I didn’t know your address there and I had to look for your relatives to tell me your address, and about the email thing I tried to email you back but our computer is really messed up; I ought to get the fix sometime so I could email you. I’m really sorry if you thought that I don’t care about you, I do. I really do. I love you since the first day we met it’s just that I was too scared to confess because it might ruin our friendship and that I think that you only think of me as a brother. I love you Kath, I love you with all my heart and I’m sacrificing everything just to be with you.

With Love,
Sam

By the time I was done reading his letter. I heard a beep it was coming from him. I was stunned. I dropped the book and ran towards him and started calling the nurse.
“Stay with me please, stay with me… don’t leave me please. I can’t let you leave me. Please. I. Love. You.” I cried as the tears fell. I was shaking. I didn’t want him to die. I didn’t want him to leave me. I want him to be here by my side comforting me, and telling me that it was all a joke. But it’s not a joke. It’s reality. He’s dead and here I am living my life through pages in the diary. I filled the rest of the book. I even started a new book since it couldn’t hold all my memories and thoughts of him. And I will always remember him. How he had been a good friend. How he helped me through bad times. How he loved me so much that I didn’t want to let go. I will not forget him. He had been the best inspiration of my life. He is the best of friend anyone could ever have. I will not forget him. I love him.

“C’mon Kath, were going to be late for school!” Mark shouted through our front door. Mark had been my friend since the day I first came to his school. He had been a good friend, almost as good as Sam. He kind of reminds me of Sam. Sometimes when I'm with Mark, I kind of think that Sam sent him to guide me and to be with me just like he did for me when he was alive.oming!” I shouted back. This is a fresh new start and a beginning of an ideal friendship. Or so I thought.

actually this is not my story, which is i just copy it from google! haha
but i just wanna share.

Xoxo,
Zahwa Samodra Putri \m/

dear leona lewis

dear leona,

i was running my playlist tonight and for the first time in years, your (amazing) song "the best you never had" started playing. i love that song, but R U freakin' KIDDING ME??? what a slap in the face. perfect timing. i know that song is for people like me, and yes, I've learned my lesson. so for the love of God-- don't punish me. please, stop pushing it, not today... and never again.

"What and If are two words as non-threatening as words can be.

But put them together side-by-side and they have the power

to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if?"

- Letters to Juliet

mon(ster)day!!

hey everyone! hari ini gue capeeeek bgt-_-
well....ini capek yang benerbener capek. pdhl gue ga sport/larilari hari ini but i don't know how comeeee gue bisa secapek ini. &kyknya minggu ini bakalan jadi minggu yang berat&tiring causeeeee minggu ini bakalan FULL belajar, no free time anymore! can you believe it? uhmm untung aja disekolah gue bisa ketemu anak kuhn, ya paling ga kalo main sm mereka jadi ga kerasa lah kalo emang lagi stress:$

haha okya...pagipagi tadi gue belajar BIOLOGY&u guys know ritee gue gasuka biologyyy, a-lot! huhh bisa dibayangin betapa ngantuknya gue tadi pagi HA HA. than we're moving class ke kelas ning-yang kalo gasalah. kita belajar english&disuruh ngerjain 60 soal, tp gpp untungnya gampang;D jadi kita ngerjainnya pada niat&cepet semua kok hahaha. abis itu ada kelas bahasa, belajar belajar belajarrrr &than recess! terus abis recess kita masuk ada kelas math. betapa padatnyaaaaaaaaa?:( hwhw. ohiya! kita bakalan kayak gitu tiap minggu menjelang UN loh-_- &setiap hari jumat bakalan ada TRYOUUUTTTTT-_- Ohdamnnn.

tp yang paling enak itu ya kita lunch dari jam 12.40 sampe jam 2.00! hahaha oke itu gue seneng. &thannn kita main CSI, as always. abis itu kita bimbel and pulang! pas pulang gue rencananya mau kasih surprise ke veda yang lagi birthday (once again HAPPY BIRTHDAY VEDAAAA) But seems bokap gue dikantor dan hape&dompet gue di dia, jadi ga jadi-_- kesel. @!#$%^&^^%$#!@*^&%$# &thann nanda and alya decited buat makan aja di dialen, yaudah mereka makan tuhhh. abis itu ya gue main aja berdua sm seesha.

terus gue harus nganterin seesha pulangkan, pas gue mau anterin, tbtb gue ngidam eskrrim-_- HA HA. oke karna gue ngebet banget minta eskrim yaudah gue sama seesha ke dialen&karna gue ga modal, yang tadinya mau beli magnum jadi beli kiko mennnn. jauhloh bedanya hahaha. oketerussss kita jalan2 sambil ngabisin eskrimnyaa terus kan abis muter2 muter2222 i had a very great idea!!!! we're decited to go to faysa's house. and actually kita lupa rumahnya faysa itu yang mana-_____- wkwk yaudahdeh kita ber-OPINI(y) setelah nyari2222 akhirnya ketemu! hahaha dan pas ketemu itu kayak orang yang bener bener gatau malu kita tereka2 depan rumah faysa! hahaha
kyknya faysa denger kita manggil2 but she ignores us-_-
can u believe that she did that to us?;(
hahaha actually.....ga deng. faysa keluar abis itu
&keluarnya....masyaAllah ngagetinnya parah fay..please banget deh ya lain kali kalo lo mau keluar gausah kayak orang kesetanan-_- kyk tuyul taugaa? bikin orang sportjantung *okelebay
ahahahaha i had a great time today with kuhn&seesha which is.....(sebenernya ga terlalu) haha but STILL! serukok;D
OMG! gue lupa sesuatu! gue harus belajar sekarang! well....bye! see ya next time<3

with hugs&kisses,
Zahwa Samodra Putri \m/